I'm so f'king stressed uppp! Yesterday and today was a really bad day for me. After L AIS and WCS PO talk to me, calm me down.... I felt better and wanting to change for the better as i'm always really mischievous in the ship, not following orders and always wanting to leave the ship. I told them i'll change, i'll work harder and i'll carry staying in the ship and i'm really serious about that. As for WCS PO i begged him not to put me on duty on saturday and monday because i was so fucking unlucky to kenna duty this 2days. I told him i've got a birthday to attend on saturday and monday.. you know.... the important day, it's chinese new year! He said "by right calvin, you don't derserve this as you know you are like always not following orders but i'm gonna change it for you as it's really important. I really want you to change." So i promise him the next test his gonna give me which is on next friday i'm gonna score 80% and above. If i don't score that i'll memorise all the comparment numbers and full names of all the Chiefs, Po, Ls, Officers and Warrant officers in the ship and if i can't again i'll stay in every monday to friday! I really mean it!
Soon after this when i close up my Nav officer came and fuck me really hard for talkin on the phone during duty. I told him it was something really important and he asked me not to give him that shit? WTH? He said i shud spent time studying.. So i walk off to get the file to study. He fuck me again and say "You think you will have the heart to study after me fucking you? fuck you! don't give me that shit!" I was so f'ckin angry but i had to tolerate. So i told him "Than what you want sir? now i'm going to study, you also fuck me?" He than asked me "what you want? tell me? TELL ME!!" I told him "you shud tell me what you want instead of me tellin you what i want. I'm going to study, you also f'kin me. And not tellin me what you want." Next he just walk off with silence.. WTF? Today morning he just came asked me a few questions and than wanted to confine me for one day. Wah damn it man! I almost walk there and punch that f'kin a**hole! But tolerate..... Damn this tolerate shit man.. I'm never gonna tolerate such shit again. Making me felt like a real dog.. I'm sure it's gonna happen again just probably a different officer. I know i'm in the wrong talkin on the phone. Fuck me once or twice alright.. confine's cool with me too. But don't just keep Fucking me for the sake of fucking that makes you feel greater and happier! It's obvious. F'king wanker! At the end of the i pass the test he gave me and confine's taken away..